Generating Positive Energy

One main idea that springs out at me to reflect upon is the level of happiness that I carry around with me on a daily basis – it is constant and never ending – my scale is always set at 1… on a scale of 1- 10 where 1=Sad and 10=Happy. The base is always there with day’s experience, a brief moment or moments where laughter sets in.  I have become accustomed to this base level because nothing I do or say relieves it. I smile through it, I laugh through it, I create wonderful works of Art through it, and wonderful stories are written through it; I breathe through it because I am a trained singer in many different styles, but the Bel Canto method for Operatic singing and repertoire is the diaphragmatic breathing required for the technique. I play classical piano through it, I dance Tap through it, and teach all these things to students, my children, my grandchildren, friends, because I like to share myself with others. I Act through it and can create through the Stanislavski Method the meanest, and craziest Seraphina character, though I am not present within, the Number 1 sadness informs me as I act. Why does it remain? After all, I use it all the time for my own good. I exercise through it, walk through it, pray through it, receive Communion through it, take vitamins and cook good food through it, gain weight through it, lose weight through it, lose hair through it, sit and write incessantly – some days with no sleep as I watch the dawn appear days in a row… through it. Is it – base 1 – a necessity for me to survive as a creative artist?

 

It keeps me so close to God and in constant contact with Him… higher levels of consciousness through the pineal gland they hypothesize; but higher levels of consciousness in every atom of my being because of God’s Love. Truly I stay away from Chakra – and New Age things of that sort – I learned my lesson from chakras – it is a false peace for me. I know why my number 1 is there, and how it got there. I wrote a film about it. That’s how I got to Full Sail University (I didn’t visualize it or think on it – they called me out of the blue when I was down and out financially)… from the negative butterfly effects of my ex-husband when he decided not to pay me what the judge ordered him to pay me back for my financing his medical career.

 

I visualize myself with the person I love the most in the whole world, the father of my lost son; we used to have a connection so deep we didn’t need to talk… and the base number 1 sadness turns into joy. And I think to myself, “He is thinking of me too because I see him and feel him” – this is creative visualization at its finest. I rely on the Butterfly Effect to help me reach to those whom I love and cannot be with presently – for whatever nefarious reason; even, now too, a Daughter, and 3 Grandchildren whom I also adore.

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The Bluebird is a Symbol of Happiness

I smile through it. What’s that phrase? Smile though your heart is aching… I see all the bad news on TV and on Facebook – especially the news about ISIS – it is the worst kind of negative energy passing through the world these days – especially the children who die because of them and witness them, or live in fear of them – who I cannot get out of my mind – is it really not my problem? Oh, but it is… and my stress levels go up – and I choose not to forget the children… even the one I lost to the crazy people doing crazy things as they spread their negative energy around. Father MacAlear, a renown Roman Catholic Healer, told me, as he knew I am the one in the congregation looking for peace (I guess it screamed out at him and he felt me and saw it) “They can take everything away from you, Linda, but they can’t take away your beautiful smile.” So I smile even though my heart is aching and the base sadness stays at number 1.  I count that as my blessing… and then I laugh at the absurdity of life. Perhaps one of the requirements in taking care of myself is to face the man I love the most in this world face to face. I have put this dilemma through my critical thinking process and still cannot come up with an answer because my heart tells me to do something else and I experience cognitive dissonance.  Perhaps all that I do is a betrayal to my heart and this degree is a distraction. Why else am I here now in this situation? I could posit this as a reason because on a subconscious level I don’t want to do anything else but to be with him. I do love myself… but …  all I can do is wait. He chose someone else… so I smile through it… and remain at the base level, number 1 in happiness.

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